Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Decisions and the fear of change

It's been a while.

Five months ago, I made a decision to change career paths (quite a drastic change in my case). I was scared. Apart from obvious fears such as telling my parents that I wanted a change, I was experiencing some hidden fears as well. I was scared to admit to myself that the path I was on was taking me to a place where I'd be unhappy. Scared to admit to myself that my heart truly belonged somewhere else, and almost ashamed that I didn't make the right decision to begin with - after all, it's supposed to be MY dream right? How could I not know?!

Well, all it takes (in my case) is a 4 hour long coffee date with a friend to find myself opening up and finally sitting up tall, and proud to make that huge decision to essentially drop what I was doing to dive head first into something very new.

What made it harder to take this step was the fact that the career choice I had first made was still very fulfilling in its own way. That makes it harder to leave something that you're happy doing everyday - but the point where you start to have this idea in the back of your head, that you could be pursuing something you've always wanted to, but somehow strayed away, is the point that you have to really take a moment, and THINK. And don't be scared to THINK about it. I was, and that's what delayed me in making this awesome decision. I finally made it and I have NO regrets with where life took me before this. That's because it all happened for a reason. I've never been happier to be in school (as hard as it is) because this time around, I LOVE what I'm doing. This time, it's MY decision.

The lessons learned - life is going to confuse you. You're not alone in it. Find someone you can talk to &talk to them. Don't be afraid to let go. Don't be afraid of change. Don't be afraid to speak about your dreams, no matter how stupid you think they are. It's through life's experiences that you'll figure out what you like doing, what makes you happy, what gets you energized, and what things you're passionate about. You'll find that within a year, you can change as a person. You will look back and think about how amazing it is & how you didn't even see it coming. Everyday, things change without us realizing it. It's only when we have to bring about a big change in our lives that we go into panic-mode. Just remember, there's always someone there to support you. Changes can bring about some really rough times. Just keep in mind that end result, and keep yourself motivated. Surround yourself with positive people. The people who dream with you are the best one's I find.

Some of us know what we want to be from a young age, and grow up following all the right steps to get themselves there. Some of us just get confused along the way... and that's OKAY! Eventually, you find yourself doing what just feels right in every way :)

EXHIBIT A - My life's career goals (Try not to laugh)

Grade 8 (Olympic Track Athlete) --->
---> Grade 11 (Software Engineer) --->
--->
OAC (Athletic Therapist for an Olympic Team) --->
---> 1st year Kinesiology (Want to be a Dentist)
---> 2nd Year Kinesiology (Want to be a Physiotherapist) --->
---> 3rd Year Kinesiology (no Physiotherapy, confused)
--->
---> 4th Year Kinesiology (still confused) --->
---> Graduated, went to Kenya (pursue International Development) --->
---> After graduation (entered the teaching field specializing in Special Needs)
---> Confusion sets in again, (still interested in Dentistry)
---> Back at school doing Dental Hygiene (VERY HAPPY - will possibly go on to become a dentist) :)

That's me!

Peace n' Love,
Falon